Yeah, I’m finally opting in…
to life. My own life.
I’ve been “here” the whole time, but I’ve never really checked the box, signed on the dotted line, and said “Yeah, I’m IN” for whatever you’ve got for me.
I still didn’t read those pages of tiny font explaining my terms of acceptance…
I’m not that stupid.
I’m sure I’ll get spammed and end up on a bunch of lists on which I never asked to be. That’s ok. I’ll take some junk mail and a stray door knocker to get all that life has to give me.
Man, I opted out of SO MUCH.
Because of fear
Because of shame
Because of external pressure
Because I had proclaimed myself the one responsible for making everyone else’s “opt in” as pleasant for THEM as possible.
The cruise director of other people’s lives.
“Have you tried the shuffleboard up on the Lido deck? It’s the perfect time of day”
“Be sure you check out the little market on the corner at our next port. Great deals! His name is José. Tell him Ben referred you.”
Well, gosh darn it – I’m going on a cruise (figuratively – I still fear some motion sickness on a literal cruise), and I’m NOT GOING AS THE CREW.
Did you know cocaine addiction eventually drove poor Julie off the Love Boat? Turns out even being a FAKE cruise director is stressful. She overcame it once she left the show. The boat. The DIRECTING of things, however scripted they might have been.
It’s time to stop. And enjoy. To “smell the roses”.
But to be clear, I’m not opting OUT of the rest of life. That sort of thing gets you in the loser line, and I’m not a loser. I will still be kind, considerate, conscientious Ben. I’m not sure you could beat that out of me with a stick. Instead, I’m looking at everything I’ve stood and watched from the outside, secretly jealous of the fun they were having while deriding it as “frivolous, brainless, and (sharp intake of breath) IRRESPONSIBLE.
Yeah – it’s time to opt in.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “opt.” Use it as a word or find a word with “opt” in it and base your post on that. Have fun!