idiot box

I
am
resolved
to be real

whatever the hell that means

lord knows
I’m less plastic
– more flesh –
than I’ve been

but still

decades of
deflections
corrections
obfuscations
assignations

layers of masks
a player at tasks
a flat out lie
as parts of me die

hard to
reverse
the curse
dispel
repel
resell

I want to be done
but how?

two score
and a dozen
assuming my roles
playing so many
characters
dug many holes

can’t separate
real
from reals

reels from reels

the actor thing again
it appears I’m quite good
“I’m not really a person,
but I play one on TV”

when I was a kid
three channels.
three and a half
if you count PBS

now
hundreds
plus on demand
streaming
watch whatever you want

my reals and reels have followed suit

stop changing channels
just turn it off

and step out of the
idiot box

I
am
resolved
to be real

whatever the hell that means