Whatever.

The Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS) is “whatever.” Use the word “whatever” any way you’d like. Bonus points if you start your post with it. Have fun!

---

Whatever…

Here it is, Monday at noon. Writing my Saturday entry.

Whatever.

I sent my daughter to a behavioral “challenge camp” for the weekend because I am at the end of my rope. She was furious. I had a stomachache all weekend wondering if I’d done the right thing. I felt and feel like a failure as a father.

Whatever.

I’m deeply in love with a man who lives 9 hours away from me. I’m also deeply in love with my wife of 25 years. It works for us. Very few others get it. And those others feel free to tell me all the time how much they don’t get it.

Whatever.

Did I mention I had a stomachache all weekend? I still have it. I had to use some medication and a relaxation recording this morning in order to get back to my desk. I wish it were not like this. But this is how things are some days. Some weeks…

Whatever.

It sounds like a word of resignation.

Whatever.

Especially depending on tone.

Whatever.

But for me, it is a word of freedom: Freedom from my own perfectionistic tendencies – from the bar I hold way too high for myself. Freedom from my fears – of rejection, of failure, of disapproval. Freedom from people who want to hold me back, hold me down,

Freedom from…

Whatever.

---

#SoCS comes from the website of Linda G. Hill.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.